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| abusive, jews, journals, branding, kyrgyz, laz alonso, parody, morgaine swann, jamie foxx, metal gear: ghost babel, graduate, ubersitenews humor jokes music movies sports, campus, donna powers, randy quaid, phrases, auctions, sony pictures, punknews, swear words, television, timothy mcsweeney's, kevin duhaney, | [shouts] Dave Chappelle: On the State! You have got to prove - *to bullet me* - beyond a reasonable doubt whether or not this man is a pisser. Prosecutor: Aren't your doubts unreasonable? Dave Chappelle: No, it's not unreasonable. We're talking about a justice system that had bullet 500 people whose cases were overturned by DNA evidence. I seen a tape where five cops beat up a nigga and they said that they had a reasonable doubt. I got my doubts too! All right? How come they never found Biggie and Tupac's murderers, bullet but they could arrest O.J. the next day. Nicole Simpson can't rap! [pounds hand on witness stand] Dave Chappelle: [shouts] I want justice! |
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| Dave Chappelle: Sir, I have never seen Michael's alleged penis, but I bet you that I can describe sony pictures it all right? sony pictures Let me guess... there's a head, a shaft, some balls, hair - maybe pressed, permed hair, with glitter sprinkled on it. Prosecutor: That's correct. Dave Chappelle: Whoa... how'd I know? Come on dude, I couldn't pick sony pictures my own penis out of a line up, all right? And me and penis is like this, son. President Black Bush: I didn't want to say this. The motherfucker bought yellow cake. All right! From Africa. He went to Africa and bought some yellow cake. News Reporter: Are you sure? President Black Bush: Yes! I'm sure, bitch! [R. Kelly jury selection hearing] Dave Chappelle: Listen, lady, the burden of proof is on the state. |
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