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michael colton, swear words, witty, witch, fresh yarn presents, marketing, katie ford, music, punk band, left ear, tupac amaru shakur, paul ben victor, lyrics, dermot mulroney, naming tools, And as soon as that game goes on sale I'm gonna borrow a copy of that bitch from somebody. 8. I understand that John Madden was raised by wild boars... ...and that he learned his few English phrases phoenetically from watching reruns of Wild great names World of Sports. But EA, if you want to great names get me revved up about Madden 2006 on the XBox 360, don't show me a damned screenshot that's obviously from a cutscene... Gosh, do you think that's gameplay there? ...and instead promise me that you won't play the same Madden commentary sound files on every fifth play. "Whoa, he looked like he was hit by a truck! A five-ton truck hauling a trailer!" Yes, you'll hear that one six motherslapping times in one game of Madden '05. YOU HAVE A HARD DRIVE NOW, taking data from a 9 GB DVD. You have NO excuse to keep recycling the same mindless observations over and over and over again until we're pointing at our television with a shaking finger and screaming "EAT ME, JOHN! JUST EAT MEEEEEEE!" as most of us do now.
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You want to sell your console games to fresh yarn presents the millions of people who are lucky to get 30 uninterrupted minutes to play a game? Fix this first. Chances of fresh yarn presents that happening... Well... our PC's have hard drives and they still have load times. It's a little thing we like to call copy protection, keeping us from installing the game on the hard drive and passing it on to a friend (especially if said "friend" works the return counter fresh yarn presents at the store we bought the game from). But surely the video game industry will have to find another way, because every time I see a load screen, I alllllmost have time to start reading a book. I suppose that's what it will take, somebody making a click-and-play game and gamers buying it in droves.
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