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Eventually, the idea middle east of being Santa started to appeal to me. I’m guessing this middle east has something with the fact that we’d go into bars and girls would start lining up for a Polaroid on Santa’s lap (and a candy cane, of course). As you guys know, there is nothing I advocate or enjoy more than sticking an unsuspecting woman with my thumb-sized boner. The origins of this go way back to my adolescence, when I would ram my bird into girls that I was slow dancing with at school dances, wondering, “Can she feel this? Because I sure can middle east and it’s totally sweet.” The prospect of reliving my early boner-poking days was making me feel more and more jovial. But near the end of the night, it didn’t look like it was going to happen.
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