It’s only a few dave eggers assault
school prayer, music, rap city, university, insidehigher ed, girls, lyric, dendrie taylor, free legal forms, wicce, funny videos, harbinger productions, folk pop, catherine keener, photos, sit 'n' spin, lyric to tupac, culture: humor and satire, randy harrison, true stories, picture tupac, assault, At this point, he began stomping after me, now yelling, “I said, WHAT YOU NEED CHANGE FOR!  You need it for dave eggers $5?  $10?  $100?  I got it baby!  I’M A HUSTLER!”  I wasn’t perturbed by this, but rather walked into the diner and went about my business.   I got my creamed chipped beef and my change and left the diner.  I gave one homeless guy standing by the entrance a buck.  Then I gave a homeless woman laying in the handicapped parking spot of the diner a buck dave eggers too.  As I headed over to my car, I saw the guy who was yelling at me, standing near my car (actually, my mom’s car).    As I walked toward him and the car, he slowly moved away.  When I got to the car, I learned why.  He had taken it upon himself to “clean” my windshield: there was a disgusting, milky-looking residue smeared all over the windshield, a mix of blue cleaning fluid, newspaper ink, and the windshield’s natural grime. 
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It’s only a few blocks from where I live, but assault hey – I’m fat – so I drive.  There assault I get my usual meal: creamed chipped beef (if you don’t know what creamed chipped beef is, my sadness for you could fill an ocean).  I then take the CCB back to my dad’s house, where I eat it in peace and quiet.   After parking in the lot of the diner, I was approached by a homeless guy, the first of three that would assault ask me for money (god I miss being home).  A black guy in his late 30’s, he had the bottle of “cleaning fluid” and mess of newspaper and offered to clean my windshield for $1.50.  He offered me this as I was walking from the car to the diner, and I told him I didn’t have any change.  Then he started following me, asking, “What you need change for?  I’m out here tryin’ to hustle!”  I shouted back, “I need to get change.  I’ll hit you when I get out of the diner.” 
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