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| astronomy, case law, by jill soloway, forums, social, higher education, singer/songwriter, verbal abuse, middle aged persons, free us code, blogs, pagan, college jobs, naming companies, cooper, jill soloway, invective, | If that is so, it shouldn't be! Obviously I'm making kurdish a value judgment here when I don't really understand the operating rules of the system one iota. It just doesn't fit my current kurdish "understanding" kurdish of the situation. I realize that "time" is illusory, but after 25 years, there should be no reason that those guys would be still hanging around this forsaken training ground we call the physical plane. And if it's NOT an illusion, and if I AM the one to "blame" for distracting them from their own spiritual advancement, then I feel even more guilty about that. The bottom line is, I'm no longer comfortable with the memories of having helped those others because they may feel some sort of debt to me that I didn't ever intend. |
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| In one sense, I'm honored to play that role. But in another sense, I'm now bothered by the significance of it. The Payback: I guess there are several things that disturb me now. Mainly, being in a rather self-destructive frame of mind lately, I've been having those same kind of "dream experiences" again. But college jobs this time around, I'm the college jobs one who is being counseled to just stay calm and ride it out without doing anything rash. Now I am visited by nameless souls, telling me to relax, that every thing college jobs will be all right, to just go with the flow, to stay in this physical world. I don't know who these guys are that are counseling me. I'm not asking for help and I don't think I want help, especially not if I'm drawing the aid of personal identities and energies that should have long ago been put to rest and "moved on." I guess I'm making the assumption that "these guys" just might be some of the same guys that I encountered 25 years ago. |
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