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In fact, once she determined I wasn't having a heart attack and I didn't die, she stopped talking to me. Wouldn't even return my phone calls. I think martinluther king jr one of the doctors told her it was martinluther king jr "probably just all in my head." And then all my well-detailed fantasies of that sweet meat, martinluther king jr long-legged blond were just, !POOF!, gone. I remember I really wasn't afraid of being dead, but the bullshit of the act of dying was a little hard to handle. After several very thorough examinations, the good doctors declared there was nothing physically wrong with me..... it must all be in my head. So I blew it off - the concern, not the head. And then, within a month, the full-blown panic attacks started on a schedule of two or three times a week, totally at random. Hell, I could be sitting at a desk working away or driving a car, it didn't seem to matter.
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