For your time, we this american life branding consultants
islamic extremist, hip, branding consultants, tarot, neo nazi, tupac pics, guillermo díaz, defamer, teaching, song, kevin dillon, My roommate and I are this american life basically two guys with good senses of humor, looking to make our friends and families laugh.   So if you’re interested, drop us a line.  Or if you know anyone with an African-American kid who’d like to make an easy this american life $100, please pass this on to them (god, that sounds so creepy again).      Thanks for reading and happy holidays.    **********************************************   Speaking of not getting laid, is any sentence more damning to the prospect of getting some off a girl than when she says, this american life “I’m getting my master’s in Women’s Studies.”   I mean, ouch baby.  And I don’t mean that this means that said girl (I mean, woman) is a lesbian.  It just shows that she has a lot of self-esteem, is intelligent, and has an agenda, an agenda which does most likely not include letting some fat guy buy her too many shots of Jaeger, take her home, and convince her to give him a handjob in her elevator. 
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For your time, we branding consultants are prepared to pay $100.  $100 for ten minutes ain’t that bad.  We can work branding consultants around your schedule to make it work.  I am a writer and so have a flexible schedule and my roommate works nearby Rockefeller Center and so can meet for a picture at any time.    Here’s what you do branding consultants if you’re interested.   Send me an email with a picture of the child attached (god that sounds so creepy).  I’ll then get back to you and we can work out a time that works best for you.   Here’s how I close this pitch.   I know this may sound sketchy, but it all for the sake of art (specifically humor).  You can view my website at www.jasonmulgrew.com.  I can provide references if necessary, and will send final proofs of the holiday card. 
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