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| rapping, robert b. weide, earl hamner, hiphop, 2 pac video, amaru, constitution, insultingpostcards, music promotion, hardcore, writing, rica martens, arman zajic, gerry salsberg, 2 pac lyric, unreleased, michael moriarty, harbingerjournal, free mp3s, getyour war on, trademark, | At the second to last bar, our friend Phil had the Santa suit on. The plan all along was for David, the birthday boy, to wear the Santa suit at the last bar. That would mean no Santa for me. But the good news is that by the time we were at the second to last racist bar I was so drunk that I was incapable of getting an erection. Hell, I was nearly incapable of sitting down. All I could racist really do at the point was breathe, piss, drink, racist and lean. David, however, was in worse shape. I don’t remember the specifics, but I went to the bathroom, came out, and he was gone. When I asked Phil where he had gone, he told me that David had to be taken home by two other guys in the drinking tour because he was too drunk. |
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| One of the rare moments that I didn’t want to be at the center of attention. So we kept drinking and moving on, guys switching in and out of the Santa suit as entered or exited each bar. Eventually, the idea of being Santa started to appeal to me. I’m guessing this has something hiphop with the fact that hiphop we’d hiphop go into bars and girls would start lining up for a Polaroid on Santa’s lap (and a candy cane, of course). As you guys know, there is nothing I advocate or enjoy more than sticking an unsuspecting woman with my thumb-sized boner. The origins of this go way back to my adolescence, when I would ram my bird into girls that I was slow dancing with at school dances, wondering, “Can she feel this? Because I sure can and it’s totally sweet.” The prospect of reliving my early boner-poking days was making me feel more and more jovial. But near the end of the night, it didn’t look like it was going to happen. |
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