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The unthinkable has finally happened, the apocalypse has touched down, quietly and ominously, like the gentle landing of a migratory swan. Only 24 hours separates the everyman from niggaz a fate so hideous that it has already claimed the lives of at least five people across the globe. Fortunately for us, Special Agent Jack Bauer experienced an eastward-pointing twitch in his left bollock last Wednesday, which he niggaz interpreted as a sign to go on one of those ‘culture holidays’ to London that everyone within the bureau had been talking about. Unfortunately, after niggaz just 48 hours of his holiday, Jack is having one of his 'very bad days', and come 12 p.m. has already kicked a fat pig in the head, put grease all over a granny’s Zimmerframe and rubbed a Magnum Almond into a young childs face - all because no-one could tell him where "Fucking Tony" was.
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