“No, dude.” Me: “Oh, jarhead(full screen) insulting
makaveli cd, personalpublishing, friends, non fiction, warner home video, lawyer marketing, 2pacalypsenow, insulting, movies, university jobs, bands, faculty, wikipedia, band, danielle von zerneck, unreleased tupac lyric, tupac mp3, christopher walken, In the old days, I used to press these jarhead(full screen) women for pictures, and when I eventually got one, 95% of the time it’d be of a 250-pounder eating a jarhead(full screen) big-ass bowl of chili, looking like Mama Cass on a hot August afternoon.  But now, jaded and disappointed, I don’t even respond to these emails.  So ladies, if you’re only point in emailing me is to tell that you’re hot, please don’t.  However, if you want to email me a picture of you eating a big-ass bowl of chili, that’s totally cool.  I jarhead(full screen) collect those.       Most emails are fun to read.  These include some of the stories that y’all send me, links to stuff you think is funny, and drunken ramblings (and I have been getting an inordinate amount of drunken ramblings lately – gotta love the holidays). 
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“No, dude.” insulting Me: “Oh, I guess that was me.”  [eleven seconds of silence] Me: “I can’t wait to get fucked up this weekend.” Brian: “I know.  It’s gonna be awesome.  I love getting drunk.” Me: “Me too.” [fourteen seconds of silence] Me: “Alright, later.” Brian: “Later.”    But if that makes for insulting a safer America, well, so be it.      ****************************************   I get a lot of really fucked up emails.  This sort of comes with the territory, and I get a kick out of many of them.  Some are annoying.  These include the many emails I insulting get from “hot” girls who talk about how “hot” they are and proceed to tease me about their “hotness”, but fail to include a picture. 
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