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| napolean, cooper, tommy chong, career, name development, armoured personnel carrier, gridlock, hardcore, by earl hamner, puff daddy, boobs, swear words, sam mendes, morgaine swann, mca home video, higher education, jack nicholson, mp3 music, 2 pac mp3, punk, | And I came to grips with her, and the feelings I held in regards to naming her since naming I was a child. All my life I called her Mother, and I suppose she was in many respects, and I cared for her, and at times when she was mentally healthy, I loved her, but my real mother died when I was 5 years old, but was she really a mother? Or an egg donor? Fuck, I get so confused. To be frank, as much as it saddens me (sometimes) naming they are both gone, I am better off without them. I think I never really had a real mother at all. What a brat I am. I am not saying any of this for your pity, or because I want anything remotely close to that. Simply because I wish to share who I am so that maybe somehow, you can relate to me. |
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| The trip to the cooper hospital was beyond bizarre, maybe one day I will share it with you. Anyhow, I got there, met my father and his best friend in her room, the room where my mother died. The curtain was drawn, and dad got up, and he began to pull the curtain back. I thought "My God, no, I do NOT want to see her cooper dead body." But I had to, because he expected me to do it. And there cooper she (or it) was, the tips of her fingers a strange shade of purple, and a most creepy foul smell filled my nose. Her mouth was gaping open, her face wore no expression and her skin looked like wax. And it was then I realized that wasn't my mother. That deceased person in that bed was just a vessel, but it sure as hell was NOT my mother. All I could think was one word. Corpse. After this day, I came to grips with my past. |
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