"Honey while you were softcore michael chapman
pics, 2 pac mp3, university jobs, otis young, by jill soloway, tupac amaru shakur, fresh yarn, metal gear solid, harland williams, quotes, bootlegs, rap midi, handsome rob, dave eggers, michael chapman, SILENCEME: "You're softcore changing the title aren't you?"OLD FRIEND: Well, we were thinking, we need to make it a little scarier, a little more thriller-y, softcore something not so camp..."ME: But...it's SNAKES ON A PLANE.Needless to say things go downhill fast from there. I become sort of ornery and nitpicky on the phone and do the thing that studio executives and my wife hate more than anything: I bring up problems without providing any sort of solutions.People hate that.So I don't do the job and someone else does softcore and frankly at that point I lose interest in following the SNAKES ON A PLANE saga. The movie could be the Next Great Deadly Animal Loose on a Plane movie and my heart'll always be a little sad. And believe it or not maybe there's a little screenwriting lesson in here somewhere: If you're gonna do it, do it. Don't creep right up close to it, think about doing it, and then back off just a bit and try to convince yourself you're still doing it.
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"Honey while you were michael chapman on your cholesterol walk you stepped in dog poop again."You get the picture. Now I'm not a big rewrite guy and I do not love the ambulance chasing quality to script doctoring...I have done less than many but more than some and it's been a while since I've been holier than thou about that part of the business.So I get on the phone. It's a conference call and I think maybe three people are on the phone and one's an old friend michael chapman of mine michael chapman and she and I do most of the talking. But here's the salient part and it comes early:ME: "Oh my God I just have to say first and foremost that SNAKES ON A PLANE is the single greatest movie title of all time. I'm even using it as a zen koan. You have to promise me if I sign on to rewrite this you will NEVER change the title to something sort of generic and stupid like FLIGHT ONE-TWENTY WHO GIVES A FUCK."AWKWARD
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