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Says the spy: Last night, Katie Holmes and her dick cheney Scientology-appointed BFF swung by Starbucks at Gower and Sunset to dick cheney pick up an iced soy latte and double tall cappuccino, respectively. Katie was looking rather bulbous in an unfortunate silk tank top while her OT blessed companion swathed herself dick cheney in an upscale version of the standard unflattering blue Scientologist garb. They held up the line with pastry-related indecision (doesn't Dianetics have the cure for that?) and then paid in small change. Small fucking change. What's the point of converting religions and marrying a turkey baster if you can't buy your pregnancy-tainting caffeine with an AmEx black? At first, we were anxious about the effect the caffeine might have on Holmes' pregnancy, but research about its harmfulness to an expecting mother seems to be inconclusive. (Besides, she gets a pass on this issue until someone conducts a comprehensive study of the effects of caffeine on a stomach pad* or the in-utero handiwork of the Celebrity Centre's gifted geneticists.)
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