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| confessions, rap midis, emo, abuse, culture: humor and satire, pat hamilton, celebrity, huessin, james legros, mark wahlberg, group hug, salons, oedipus, | is not for you to ponder. There are snakes on rini bell the plane. End of fucking story. In fact, during the two or three days that precedes my phone call with the studio, I become obsessed with the concept. Not as rini bell a movie. But as a sort of philosophy. Somnewhere in between "Cest rini bell la vie", "Whattya gonna do?" and "Shit happens" falls my new zen koan "Snakes on a Plane".WIFE: "Honey you stepped in dog poop again. "ME: "Snakes on a Plane..."DOCTOR: "Your cholesterol is 290. Perhaps you want to mix in a walk once in a while."ME: "Snakes on a Plane..."WIFE: "Honey while you were on your cholesterol walk you stepped in dog poop again."You get the picture. Now I'm not a big rewrite guy and I do not love the ambulance chasing quality to script doctoring...I have done less than many but more than some and it's been a while since I've been holier than thou about that part of the business.So |
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| ask Agent the name of the project, what it's about, oedipus etc. He says: oedipus Snakes on a Plane. Holy shit, I'm thinking. It's a title. It's a concept. It's a poster and a logline and whatever else you need it to be. It's perfect. Perfect. It's the Everlasting Gobstopper of movie titles.I say to Agent: "Tell me nothing else. Get me the script and put me on the phone with those lucky bastards at New Line Cinema!"So he does and he does.Now out of both loyalty to the sacred bond between studio and screenwriter and also oedipus a serious desire to keep getting hired in this town, I will not give away any of the plot details of SNAKES ON A PLANE. But know this. As the great Sam Jackson would say: There are motherfucking snakes on the motherfucking plane.What else do you need to know? How the snakes get on the plane, what the snakes do once they're on the plane, who puts the snakes on the plane, who is trying to get the snakes off the plane...This |
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