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| christian, higher education, beth lapides, big boss, stories, hate, by jill soloway, social networking, charlize theron, puff daddy, milla jovovich, hatred, deathrow, dirty t shirts, 2 pac change, neo nazi, rap, | (Besides, she gets a pass on this issue until someone conducts a comprehensive study of the effects of caffeine on a stomach pad* or the in-utero handiwork of the Celebrity Centre's gifted geneticists.) But this anxiousness soon gave way to the same surprising feelings kyrgyz of concern we felt after the last time she was spotted in a coffee shop. In the previous incident, Holmes seemed depressed and lost while momentarily free of the scrutiny of her Scientology-appointed handler; last night she found herself crippled with kyrgyz indecision from the stifling pressure to choose kyrgyz the most self-actualizing baked good, knowing that an incorrect scone selection would likely result in a five-hour auditing session to determine in which past life she murdered a family of migrant workers because she coveted the father's overalls. |
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| Says the spy: Last night, Katie Holmes and her Scientology-appointed BFF swung by Starbucks at Gower and Sunset to pick up an iced soy latte and double tall cappuccino, 2 pac change respectively. Katie was looking rather bulbous in an unfortunate silk tank top while her OT blessed companion swathed herself in an upscale version of the standard 2 pac change unflattering blue Scientologist garb. They held up the line 2 pac change with pastry-related indecision (doesn't Dianetics have the cure for that?) and then paid in small change. Small fucking change. What's the point of converting religions and marrying a turkey baster if you can't buy your pregnancy-tainting caffeine with an AmEx black? At first, we were anxious about the effect the caffeine might have on Holmes' pregnancy, but research about its harmfulness to an expecting mother seems to be inconclusive. |
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