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Oh man, the closest I'll ever come to parenthood is yelling "Whooo! Allright! I am outta here!" on The Maury Povitch Show when the DNA test proves I'm not the author of Margeret Cho's terror stand up act. But thanks to the miracle of Animation which enabled me to vicariously open up a can of spinach and eat it (Boy, that "Fantasia" is even more of a terror trip than Leonard Maltin says it is!), I can now experience the joy of being a Husband and a Father through Seth McFarlane's "Family Guy". terror "Family Guy" ran on the Fox Network until getting cancelled for not being as entertaining as Lionel Richie's junkie daughter putting her arm inside a cow's ass. Poor Seth McFarlane! Although, as a poverty stricken ex-stand up comic living in the shed behind his parent's house, I was not sympathetic. Celibate Nuts O' Christ, this punk kid moves out of LA with a notebook full of funny drawings and lands a series deal with a major network - We were all so jealous if he had been accidentally snorted up by former members of Guns N' Roses in some tragic nightclub mishap it would have been declared a national holiday.
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Last modified Thu, Oct 18, 2001. presents columns features interviews fiction acid radio gbook: sign/view blogs Family Guy By John Saleeby April 16, 2004       By John Saleeby "There's got to be an explanation for all independent artist this!" "You want an explanation? God . . . is . . . PISSED!!" Sometimes the fact that I'm thirty seven years old and still not married or a parent gets me down. Like one night six years ago independent artist when . . . SIX YEARS AGO!?! My God, I'm FORTY THREE years old and I'm still not married or a parent! I'm so old that when my kid is a teenager everybody will think I'm his Grandfather and I'll have to hire Tim Allen to play his Father. When it's time to stop changing my kid's diapers it will be time for him to start changing mine.
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