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You two can live happily together, knowing that you're militia superior to every other fucking person on the planet. Dear Mother Nasty, I'm a very butch, straight-acting gay white male with a militia swimmer's build and a nice job that pays $75k. I tried to make it to the beach every other weekend or so this summer to work on a nice suntan. I militia think I may have overdone it a little, as my skin is now very tan -- about the color of cappuccino. I noticed late in the summer getting fewer and fewer solicitations for dates and fewer cruisey looks on Fire Island. What do you think the right amount of suntan is to attract the right man? -- Lost in Long Island Dear Lost in Limbo, Try this... stay out in the sun constantly. There is no such thing as "too much sun" for you calvin-klein wearing rich fag Geffen wanna-be's. The browner you get, and the closer to a nice crispy, crunchy death by skin cancer, the better.
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