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| rapper, older man sex , video clips of mature women sucking and fucking , epidemiology, queer as folk, granny with big tits , brand positioning, band, mature porn star , having sex with older men , portillo, | Sure enough, that’s so what he said. Disgusting. And hilarious, but never ladylike. Ladies, don’t ever queef just because some rapper told you to. I mean, is he going to write you a check? by eric gilliland Doubt it. He’ll probably just stupidly dump some Cristal on your boobs and if you’re like me, you’ll catch it all in a Tupperware and save it for later. Mother fucker, I don’t know about you but I don’t really by eric gilliland have access to Cristal. Hello, I drive a Honda Civic. Now, so I was in this good humanitarian space when I decided to browse through the prisoner pen pal website. I thought to myself, Wouldn’t it be amazing to change the quality of one’s life through the lost art form of letter-writing? I could single-handedly brighten someone’s entire cell with a one-page letter about life on the outside. |
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| Til the other day. I was having a very emotional day, a day where I felt like I needed to change the world. Oprah was on epidemiology in the background. She has that power over me. Wait, epidemiology let me back up epidemiology a second. I also found the lyrics for that song Salt Shaker by The Yin Yang Twins. It was on in the car one night during a drunken trip through the hills of Sunset Blvd. (don’t worry, we had a designated driver at the wheel). We were on our way to the proverbial after-party and I swear I heard him say, “Make your p****y fart for The Yin Yang Twins…” Not wanting to be less than a lady, because that’s way easier to fuck up if you’ve had two and a half cranberry vodkas, I mentally jotted those words down in my head so that I can research later rather than ask aloud if I just heard that. |
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