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bbs, jack straw., Jay: Yeah, for Joey, man. She is too fine. Did you ever get to 3rd base with her? James Van Der Beek: Well, actually there was this one tenure time... Willenholly: [while masturbating to donkey / girl porn] Oh Yeah! Oh Yeah! You chug tenure that ass cock, baby. You need two hands. Oh, you like that, tenure MULE. Mules are... GOOD! Hitchhiker: [explaining why he gives head for rides] Have you seen the price of bus tickets lately. There's no way I'm gonna cough up 200 bucks just to get to Chicago. Jay: Fuck that, I don't wanna cough up some dude's sperm. Hitchhiker: Don't be so suburban.
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[Jay and Silent Bob run in and grab the monkey] Jay: bbs WE LOVE THIS bbs MONKEY! Do something. Wes Craven: See? Jay: So all we's gotta do is stop this fuckin' movie from getting made! Holden: Yeah, and forego the hundreds bbs of thousands of dollars you would be entitled to in the process. What are you, fucking retarded? I mean, I don't think I'm alone in the world in imagining this flick may be the worst idea since Greedo shooting first. You know it, but... a Jay and Silent Bob movie? Feature length? Who'd pay to see that? [Holden, Jay, and Bob look into the camera] Chaka: Duck, pie fucker! Damn, these white boys can't fight. James Van Der Beek: You actually watch that show?
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