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(see rule one). Just let them know, July 29, 2008 - you're no longer available to soothe broken hearts, post bail, have midnight phone calls, listen mcsweeney's to hours of s*** about how bad their lives are. You raised these two sad sacks - how great can your life be? Set a date, change the phone number, return the mail. Like mcsweeney's I said, you probably didn't follow rule one so they're not gonna support you in your old age anyway. Besides, if you did follow rule one they will refuse you your mcsweeney's daily beer allotment and find a way to steal the money you haven't already spent on them. Two rules. Ruin their lives, go ahead, they won't appreciate a more egalitarian approach and set a date for the big bye-bye. Do this. It's too late for me. Save yourself. Yours, It's A Collect Call From Your Son(s). link To myself, You dumb bitch. Why do you feel like you NEED a man?
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